of crushes n such!

i seem to be maturing way too slowly for my actual age!

i'm 23+ and still in the stage where you have crushes once in a while (not the serious type - that's just limited to one!). It's pretty much like a teenager. Probably 'coz i had my first full-blown crush so late, or whatever.

And it is the most inappropriate type of crush - woman elder to me (roughly by 10 yrs), working at a higher hierarchy level, and last and the most blasphemous - married! No, i don't have a thing for married elder woman. Don't judge me dammit!

ok let's move on and look beyond the moral and ethical issues!

ok, a brief look into the professional in appropriateness of it - she's a couple of levels above me in the work hierarchy. not my boss' boss. but kinda like, hmmmm, how do i explain - ok, let's take an IT team example. hypothetically, if i'm an IT analyst, she's the team leader for a project in which i have no involvement. so no direct line of responsibilty or authority between us! so we were in a meeting together and then is when this happened.

well she's not the usual crush-at-first-sight types. but then who said i'm not weird.anyhow.
she does not have pretty cute face which will cause a crush. she's got big eyes, mopped hair (short, but all over the place), clearly defined jaw-bones and not the most attractive set of teeth.

she's gone ahead with the kill-by-attitude and behaviour style. it's just the way she talks. it's just the way her face lights up like a 500watt bulb when she smiles. it's the mischievous sparkle in her eyes when she's excited (which she can get at trivial things), it's the way she looks stressed at the smallest sign of trouble (careful there, emphasis on 'looks stressed', but definitely is not actually stressed by the problem-she's tough!) it's the way she asks me for a favour and then thanks later ever so sweetly (feeding that son-of-a-b***h male ego of mine). it's the way she called me 'sweet n cute', thrice :- on other occasions, it annoys me when somebody calls me that, 'coz let's face it - me no sweet, me no cute. calling me s n c is like insulting amrita rao and preity 'dimple' zinta. well every time she called me that, she becomes all the more s n c!
she's 30+ but behaves like 17 - not bimbotic, mind ya, not silly. but cuuuu....uuuuute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i'm so mushed up, messed up, whatever) and when she was leaving she put on her red-tinted glasses and said - 'cya around' - attitude man! and did i mention to forget, that she was dressed in a red business suit - looks goooooood on her

bottom line, a semi-serious (more like quarter-serious) crush! that's why the ethical and professional issues don't bother me. it's just a passing crush, which will soon die out!

PS:
dear first crush,
no offence to u. no dilution of feelings for u! don't get J. u still make my heart skip a gazillion beats! u r still the one!!!

and oh yes, did i already mention, i'm so messed up! aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

cheers to my first non-indian crush!!!!